DON’T BE ‘THAT’ DAD: FIVE WAYS MEN SQUANDER GOD’S CALLING

By John J Kirkwood

There is a species of eagle that mates for life and when the female is looking for a mate she will swoop down to the ground and pick up a rock and then fly back into the air, usually with two to three suitors circling her.  She climbs as high as she can and then drops the rock.  The male that she chooses will be the one that catches the rock on his back in midair.  When he does, he’s proven to her that he’d be a worthy mate who would not drop their eaglet when they’re teaching him to fly.  Sometimes, the animal kingdom can be infinitely wiser than our own.  Here are five things to watch out for when choosing the right eagle, ladies!

#1 – AN AWOL PRIESTHOOD

Many of our failures as fathers are cloaked to the public, known only to those in the immediate family, but there is a particular day each week where the failure of a father is actually tangible – on display for all to see.

The world judges a man’s worth by what he does Monday thru Friday but the real test of a man is what he does on Sunday.  Wives, if Sunday is his new Saturday and the lawn, the fishing pole, the honey-do list, or Starbucks and the New York Times are his priority, you married a loser.

It matters but little that he’s thoughtful, generous and a good listener; if he’s not fulfilling God’s call of spiritual leader in the home, he’s a spiritual dead-beat dad.  That’s right, it doesn’t matter if your husband is a good provider, a legendary lover, a father who buys organic food, braces for Sissy’s overbite, and even gets the kids into Harvard; you’ve married a man that is clueless about the most important relationship that he has to his kids.  A father is God’s agent to bring children to maturity and purity – to nurture their spirit.  If dad has been distracted by caring merely for their body and soul, his children go into this world ill-prepared to tackle the real pressing issues, and unprepared to stand before the throne of God.

I’m not saying that being in church every time the doors are open is proof of his spiritual capacity; any man who is not caught by his children at least two or three times a week pouring over the Scriptures, is probably not legit.  But the man who has ignored spiritual education altogether has taught his children that mammon, fishing, or the NFL are life’s top priorities and the odds are – they will follow his lead and wallow in a life of distraction.  The first priority of a father is to be the spiritual leader in the home.

#2 – LOVELESS MARRIAGE

The next major failure for fathers is neglect of their wives.  I know this column is about fathers not husbands, but to God they’re an inseparable weave.  In the Bible, the two greatest expressions of God’s love for his people are the models of God as “Father” and Christ as “Bridegroom.”  In a letter that Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus, he tells husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it.”  That means that the husband is to be the initiator of love in the relationship and that it should be a sacrificial, unconditional love.

Most men view their marriage like an old hunting trip – it was a rush when they were in the hunt, but once they bagged their prey and the ring was on her finger, it’s off to the taxidermy and then the den.  Men mount their marriages on a wall only to regard it once in a while in passing.  A Christian man should be the best lover in the world – attentive as he is creative, and constantly about the art of woo.  Romance is not something that happens in bed, (though it may end up there), it begins in the mindset, it is best premeditated, and it’s an everyday adventure.

The Apostle Paul went on to say that the love of the husband toward the wife, as Christ toward his church, has a distinct purpose, – “that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

We get it backwards here in modern America, the bride shows up at the wedding “glorious, unspotted, unwrinkled, and without blemish,” but if we were to follow God’s reckoning, she’d show up like My Fair Lady and end up years later like the Disney princess.  And the husband would play a significant spiritual role in bringing that about.

A good father will be a model to his daughter of the type of man that she is to look for in a mate and he’ll be the type of father that will put the fear of death and dismemberment in any young suitor who may be confused about desire and intention.  A good father will model to his son the type of a man that will revere God, honor authority, punish bullies, respect adults, and woo a woman worthy of bearing his last name.

#3 BEST FRIENDS AND DRILL SERGEANTS

You are not your child’s best friend, not in the formative years anyway.  Even “The Prodigal Son” knew that he’d have to live like Hell in “a far country,” and not under his father’s roof.  The home is a nest and it’s a haven, but it is never a dorm room.

Many fathers in our day neglect to discipline their children either out of apathy or because they’ve become men without chests, brow-beaten by feminazis.

Discipline is an act of love and a crucial element, not of raising children but of raising God-honoring, freedom-loving men and women.  As the great Colonel R.B. Thieme Jr. once said, “You don’t spoil a child by giving him things, you spoil a child by withholding discipline.” 

If your son mouths off to “his mother” remind him that “Mom was my wife before she was your mother; if you talk to my girl like that again, you’ll need the Fire Department and the Jaws of Life to retract my size 13 from your gluteus-maximus.”

Discipline, however, is not punishment.  Punishment, when it is controlled, understood, and necessary, may be an aspect of discipline, but God did not inspire The Great Santini.  If your kids see you as either their best friend or their Gunny Sergeant, then you’ve failed miserably at parenting.

#4 AMNESIA

We are on the threshold of celebrating a day that says “I have the best dad in the world,” and nobody reacts to that with animus. But when it comes to saying that our fathers were exceptional in the manner in which they planned, built, and fought for this country, then all of a sudden you’re a xenophobe for mentioning it. I don’t think so!

The root of the word for patriot is pater – father. The love of one’s country is the love of one’s fathers. America is exceptional because our fathers trusted God.  And when America forgets God or treats Him as an enemy, America will cease to be exceptional.  As you’ve seen from the above, a father’s main role is to teach his children how to love.  Whether it be their God, their parents, the right man or woman, or their country, a father who doesn’t instruct in how to love is negligent.

And remember dads, Bonhoeffer was a great German because he was a great Christian.

#5 HOT HOUSE FLOWERS

Not just fathers but most parents make the mistake of raising their children like hot-house flowers.  It is one thing to shield your child from unnecessary vulgarity and information that may not be age appropriate, but it’s quite another to shelter them from reality.  Ever see what happens to a hot-house flower when it is taken into a cold Chicago blizzard?  It doesn’t last long.  Life is more like Chicago weather then it is living in a self-contained, germ-free bubble.

It’s been said that “The Godly parent prepares the child for the road not the road for the child.”  The father that shields Jr and Sissy from every dark cloud thinks himself holier than God, for even God didn’t remove the tree or the serpent from the midst of the Garden.

Allow your children to be “tried” but not “tempted.”  The difference between God and the Devil is that Satan will tempt you to fail but God will never try you if you aren’t capable of success.  Groom your children to think critically and as soon as they show maturity, give them more leash.  With greater responsibility comes greater growth and capacity.

That’s it dad – you are to be a warrior-priest, a fighter and a lover.  Don’t allow culture to guide you, follow the example of great men, utilize resources to refine the “art of dad” and never stop with your continuing education.  Be the first to hug and the last to get off the phone.  Admonish, rebuke, even chastise but never provoke.  Among all else, love until it hurts. It will, but it’ll be worth it.

And always remember to act happy when you unwrap the tie or the Aqua Velva.  Happy Father’s Day!

53 Comments

  1. What an awesome way to explain this-now I know evteirhyng!

  2. McMansions? They look more like apartment buildings. I love the wetlands! Save the wetlands! Where I live they have built up to the edges of all of our wetlands. The farm land that is cultivated next to our wetlands seem to be a good buffer, but the farms seem to be slowly disappearing–replaced by housing tracks.

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  4. Thank G-d VJarret, albeit from iran, as a child, is not a professional sales master, just a desperate old woman manipulator, who does know too much as it is, and all on the side of the devil, Machiavelli, and Sun Tzu.That the utilities have to lean forward did not escape me, either, but didn't know of MSNBC connection, thanks for noting that, Trudy.Sorry to hear Dan G. is still in Sandy's wake of power outage, that is really a stunning disaster back there. I hope they get power up soon, as a start.HH

  5. Noi mai facem pe la seminarii niste exercitii specifice pentru a simti mai bine starea de prezenta. Poate ajungi si tu cand o sa mai tinem. Pana atunci poti sa practici si tu. Am mai scris aici despre ce poti face

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  10. Ué? Mas os "defensores do povo brasileiro", o PT, não criticaram o que o Serra disse? Quêm é a ONU para discordar de gente tão "honrada" como essa corja petista que entrega nosso país aos bolivarianos do pó???PT = Partido dos Traidores… Tiranos… e agora, Traficantes bolivarianos.Que partido você foi parar hein Dilma? Igualzinho ao seu reduto comunista né?

  11. Brooks has one of the densest, most mediocre minds ever granted to a man. This is the person who followed Safire? I didn't read Safire consistently, but he did seem to make sense when he put words together. Is anyone who reads Brooks fooled into thinking that his babblings have any meaning?

  12. márcio. Saiba que não foi fácil chegar a estas conclusões, é meio dificil ouvir criticas, ainda mais se forem duras e se nós não estamos preparados pra aceitá-las, mas aos poucos vou aprendendo e vendo o melhor jeito de lidar com cada tipo de pessoa. Um Abraço

  13. I love this!! We will be buying a house in the next few months and I hope they will still be available then – I would love to have this in my kitchen. Are you thinking of having other colours??

  14. महेंद्र्जी, खरेच आपण म्हणता तशी यासाठी काही तरी वेगळी पद्धत शोधली पाहिजे. मतदानाची जशी मतपेट्या जाऊन ईव्हीएम आले. तसे यासाठी सुद्धा काही तरी वेगळा आणि अचूक मार्ग शोधला पाहिजे. आतापासूनच शोध सुरु केला तर पुढील वेळ होईल काही तरी.

  15. that's a good one – "thinking out of box" to "tunnel vision".it was made worse as most people expected the building to be saved, by SMU at least. the greatest joke was that they renovated the library just a few years before …

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  20. What a game by Arsenal… the Arsharvin goal was fantastic but how magnificent was Van Persie’s goal from the tightest of angles – pure class. Arsenal is in a fantastic position now to win the Carling Cup and make a run for top spot in the Premier League based on their current form. I also doubt their ability to win at Camp Nou but all they need is a draw to get through… Fingers crossed!

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  26. “Okay Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!”) I think that today we have the wrong interpretation of what is the church, it was never a building, althuogh today, that’s the most common definition. The church is the body of Christ. I really don’t believe he would go to church “building”, but instead would be hanging out with the poor, the orphans, the widows, the crippled, the sick. I think that is where we will experience Jesus and the Church.  

  27. Thanks Jo, that’s very kind of you. The horizontal lines are definitely scratches. They’re probably arising from within the M2, because I develop my own negatives and I DON’T wipe them dry in the final stage (to avoid scratches ). If anybody has other ideas as to how they are being created, I’d be interested in hearing them. I used to try to post-process the scratches out, but now I accept them as part of the film “experience”…

  28. Bueno, de estos ya no erece la pena ni hablar, pero la pregunta es que va a hacer Rajoy cuando "reine", con las grandes empresas no se va a meter, faltaría mas, así que a joder al mas débil, eso está claro, y de propina pondrá a funcionar una de sus armas secretas para obtener pasta, la subida del IVA, y si no, al tiempo, yo que los que piensan votarle, me lo pensaría dos veces…Salud

  29. It’s good to see you back at it, Gregory. Your presence has been missed! Quite recently I have been pondering the nature of faith. Some say it is the most mystical non-experience we can “experience”. In faith, God is present to us as the Absolute and therefore, incomprehensible.Steve

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  32. Réa, toivotaan, että se hyppää!Ja Kirsti, kiitos kun esittelit muistiinpanosi, kiinnostavaa! Sudentalja-lukurinki kiinnostaisi minua, mutta ei nyt ihan heti. Sanotaan vaikka kesällä? Palataan kuitenkin vielä kevään mittaan asiaan. Kiva idea!

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  34. Great post Karen…and some interesting reflections. Thankyou for nominating me…When I read your post you made it seem so easy. However, when I came to mine it was a different matter entirely!I too loved the dolmuÅŸ post…so accurate!

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  36. O Robert Wyatt é um excelente pretexto para recordar os Soft Machine da fase inicial, geniais, onde era baterista e vocalista.(Consegue-se perceber que não é um político português da actualidade porque a gravata, apesar de ter cores vivas como as deles, é pluricolor, e não monocolor, como as deles.)

  37. Bureaucracy – what can you say? It’s nuttier than an insane squirrel with a hoarding habit.I think the suggestion above about checking is a good one – do you have a specific contact person for your benefits?

  38. imi place coperta:)). deci cartea este geniala. mi se parea putin cam monotona, da' cand am citit ca a fost trimisa la o scoala catolica, era sa cad de pe scaun :)).sa trimiti copilul unui demon la un liceu catolic mi se pare culmea :))as citi cartea asta 😡

  39. Madá disse:Lina, voce resgatou a memória daquele chefe que é um deus grego! Será que ele aparece por lá ? Com certeza a conferir!

  40. ele tb ta incentivando a discussao sobre softwares livres, copyleft e outras possibilidades de democratizaçao da cultura na esfera desse novo ambiente q eh a webesses artistas tao chiando pq ele ta mexendo no jogo d cartas marcadas do financiamento publico das atividades culturais!Pra mim os melhores trabalhos tao sendo de gil e marina silva, q mesmo com orçamento mto menor do q mereciam a cultura e o meio ambiente tao travando debates e açoes mto importantes q gerarao ótimos frutos no futuro

  41. Just saw a massive mistake in the Amendments; the following clause should read:“Provided further that the business of issuing or granting BLANKET licenseS in respect of literary, dramatic, musical and artistic works incorporated in a cinematograph films or sound recordings shall be carried out only through a copyright society duly registered under this Act:;A collective management society is not in the business of issuing individual licenses. Who has drafted these revised Amendments?

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  43. Good article. There’s a very fine line between creativity and usability. One could argue that nothing is really creative anyway.Btw, in terms of usability in forms, your comment form labels should be on the top. I got confused

  44. July 20, 2012 at 3:59 pmif we are asked to draw a thread ( some thread)… how to determine the actual depth and theoritical depth in a screw thread? i mean what actually is the relation between actual depth theoritical depth and the angle…. ( kindly let me know as soon as possible) Reply

  45. Si on limite ses contacts aux gens qu’on connait vraiment et qu’on n’accepte pas toutes les invitations aux Vampires, Causes, Drink & co, ça se gère bien. Welcome back on FB !

  46. Good Morning, Jenna Kim,I really enjoyed your ,”I am a Mormon” spot and am tickled I could view your comedy. Congrats on winning!I’ve done “novelty” performance, am a full time Film/Writing student at the University of Utah, am old enough to be your. . .friend, would love to write some material for you andI am a Mormon.I’m cheering for your next WIN! ===CaroLine

  47. 22/03/2012 – 3:38pmYo escucho RAC1. Son forofos a muerte del Barça, pero no se les caen los anillos si tienen que decir que el equipo ha estado mal o que el árbitro ha ayudado el Barça en un partido.Puedes pillar la retransmisión por internet a ver si sigues. Al fin y al cabo el catalán no es tan complicado

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  49. / these guys are no different than the mullahs of Iran. Freedom of religion in a society means freedom from religion in our government. Government is not to promote or enforce religious beliefs on our population. We have the freedom to believe whatever we want, and to belong to whatever religion we like, or belong to no religion at all. Freedom of religion does not mean freedom to force one set of beliefs on everyone else. Freedom of religion means you are free to subscribe to your own beliefs but your neighbor is entitled to the same rights.

  50. sunt inconstienti. cunosc pe cineva care si-a facut analize pentru ca nu se simte bine. ce au descoperit aia i-a socat: femeia avea colesterolul de 3 ori peste limita admisa. de 3 ori! aia se mirau cum de mai traieste. au pus-o pe cura imediat. cine crezi ca se plangea ca doctorii sunt duri sie xigenti si impotriva noastra? exact, mama colesterol de mai sus. trist.

  51. June 15, 2006 at 7:56 pm · I deal with this wonderful phenomena on a daily basis, not only in my own 60 something locks but in my business as a salon owner as well. I happen to make a somewhat reasonable living (well, not living really, maybe just a little money, the living thing is something else).Hey, is that the Shirley who has an appointment with me tomorrow?

  52. What I want to know is, did he become the family cook by cooking meals that tasted good, or by convincing the O's that the awful dreck he could cook was "healthy"? If they've got to have a Healthy Food Czar, far better it be a real chef who understands that fat tastes good, and if the food doesn't taste good it doesn't matter how healthy it is because they'll leave it on the plate and sneak an extremely unhealthy snack. But I'd expect the Obama's to hire the poseur and endure his bad cooking…

  53. Hmmmmmmmmm….. skulle liksom inn og kommentere det tøffe og røffe men det er ikke her jo!Jaja, da legger jeg iallefall igjen en klem her til deg 🙂

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