by John J. Kirkwood
Have you heard that “marriage is work,” or have you been told that a good marriage has to be “worked on”? It’s not true.
Marriage is not work, it’s a commitment. Marriage doesn’t need to be “worked on;” broken down cars need to be worked on.
Read Solomon’s, “Song of Songs,” and tell me if it sounds like “work.” Notice the couple that has a great marriage; does it look like work?
Work is 9 to 5. You can “punch out” of work. You can take a sick day. You can take a vacation. You can hate your boss. You can slouch and let the other employees pick up the slack. And you can quit. That’s work, but that’s not marriage.
If your marriage is “work,” then “working on it” even more will never produce the charm, the calm, the confidently relaxed love affair that only commitment to something greater than self can produce.
When’s the last time you heard someone say, “Well, I’ve got to go ‘work on’ my marriage,” and wished that you could trade places with them? Right, that’s a non-starter folks. I think I’d rather be water-boarded.
“Working” is that euphemism that we employ to describe the period of torture that we go through just before our marriage commits suicide. If you want to save your marriage, then climb up on the altar and present yourself a living sacrifice.
“Husbands love your wives,” is not work, it is sacrifice. Divorce is work. Separation is work. Picking up and dropping off your kids and tolerating other men raising them is work. Sewing your husband in the bed-sheets and lighting him on fire is work.
“Wives reverence your husbands” is commitment. It is an attitude that reinforces the vows once took before God and man; that through no storm or setback will I allow this love to fail. Failure in health or wealth will not be cause to tap out because this will be an enduring love. A fine marriage is music: a harmony with known parts played together.
Love is an attitude and much of it has to be learned. To be great in love is an art that is studied. Choose to be an apprentice under the one true Master that unlocks the matrix to lasting, meaningful relationships.
Be occupied with the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be a blessing to your lover, your children, your teachers, your coaches, your neighbors, and your friends; even your enemies.
Commitment, sacrifice, dying to self, living to God and loving your spouse: it’s the stuff of songs and poems and why should it not be true of you?
Let your love be legendary, and may your children pass on the remembrance of its glory to their children’s children. And give the thanks and the glory to God.